


Teh elf I love

by queefqueen



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Lurv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queefqueen/pseuds/queefqueen





	Teh elf I love

Amauriviellawyn was pretty. And she was not just pretty, but she awsomanscuace pretty. And she was an elf too. And she was cool – not a loswer like those other sheelf bitches, ha! Amauriviellaywnlien was the bthroteted or something like that – meaning a totally serious girlfirned - tyhat of Leggy, the handsome and hot elfen prince. He was blond and had blyue eyes and all the jelles shefl bitches were chaisng him.

End then he went to war to kill some short little shjt with a bad ring of mass descrutcion and all thse sluts were after hin. But when they grabbed his hand and tried to put in their panites he tought about his nice amauriviellawyn who only let his cupa feel as she was saving it for mariage. Because she liked cheildren very much and wanterdd secen, a round half dozne. This also made her doiffeent from the other shelkf bitches who were having abortions every week or so. Or whome with (I kow this is a complactaed snetence but I could not get it simler). So ionstead of going out with the flozzies he took cold showers and waitred for the war to end to go back to Amauriviellawyn.

He went home and he ghasped cause Amauriviellawyn was kissing and huggng another elf! He souted – cheap slut and he run away to the sea to become a sailor forget about his one tru love, as was the way of the elfs. When amayuriviuellawyn herd him shout and run she fainted. And she felt herself die cause they were bioned which means they had like a Hot Spot but only for the two of them and they were losing it all, the conenction that is., legolas also felt this pain and understood that she was hugging hedr bnrother who came home from the war faster., so he run back and they reconnected abd his father, Celebrin, from whom Legolas got his nice hair, hold a weddigparty in a tree top restaurant and they had a honemym in the land of the horse masters where they rode horses with anther cool girl, the one with the theing for white things. And rthey had their half doizne children and lived long and happy and theur kids went to school with Aragrons and Arwen, as I forgeot to write that Leoglas was like BFF with Aragorn.


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